Six Stages of Grief

I think everybody, at least once in a life time, had the worst broken heart ever. And for you who feel “yeah, rite!” about what I just wrote, be careful, you might feel it too. 

According to Elizabeth Cudler Ross: When we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss, we all move through 5 distinct stages of grief. But from my experienced and also others, there are 6 stages of grief, especially after broke up. Yess, They look different on all of us, but there are always 6. 

1.  Denial

Usually, the minutes after broke up, we denying. Refuse to accepting that its over.  We kept saying on our mind that: “This isn't happening” or “I just had a bad dream and tomorrow when I woke up, this nightmare is gone!” Or anything we said that comfort us. This is happened because we incapable considered or being conceived that we just losing someone and the feel of loss is so unthinkable.

2.   Anger 

When we finally face the reality. We become angry with ourselves, angry with everyone, even angry with God. kept saying that this isn't right! Why this is happened? What did I do? I don't deserve this! We think that if we put a blame into somebody, we might feeling better. And then we leaning on "Karma", pray that it would happen as quickly as possible. Start thinking about sweet revenge and so on. 

3.  Bargaining

Later, we exhausted with anger and had a feeling that its leads to nowhere, then we started to bargain. We begging, we plead, we offer some ideas, we giving everything we have in exchange for just one more changes. we said sorry, we keep promise to do everything we can to make this happen. This is the time when we’re not using our logic, the fear of living alone is very frightening us.

4.  Despair

When the bargaining has failed and the anger is too hard to maintain, we depress and having a despair, I think this is the worst period. We may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time with crying and grieving, disconnect our self from anything that reminds us  from anything that resembles the past. At this point, Adele becomes your favorite singer and put all of her album into your ipod. Hahaha. Somebody’s broken heart becomes you favorite song. But at this moment usually give us a time to think, to discover who we really are and what we really want. 

5.   Acceptance

Finally we accept that we have done everything we can. We realized that this is a part of our journey as a human, we say hello and we said goodbye. We let go move into acceptance. Each of us come up with quotes that give us strength. Some of us telling that, “I might not his best partner, so do his/her might not my best partner”. Or we including God by telling that “God knows what’s best for me”.  Or some simple ideas: “things don’t always workout the way you plan”, “shit happens” etc.

6.  Relapse

This is the additional stages after the acceptance, sometimes the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. We started with “what if” question  if things were different. Its unfinished feelings, and always, every time its shows up, it takes your breath away, hurts so much. But we can control it, the best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes again. 

Its kinda creepy right? Why the ideas of broke up become such a psychological things?! Well. Wait until you feel it. What am I gonna says that we might feel never the same again, the wound never exactly healing, it hurts so much, but trust me, Insya Allah your life its more better. Because you just passing the phase of suffering or distress over affliction of loss. Nobody said that “Ikhlas” is always easy, huh?!

14012012 | 22.30 | a half year after broke up | :)

All about Ho Chi Minh City

Seputaran Mata Uang

1. Nilai mata uang Vietnam lebih rendah dari Rupiah. Kisarannya 1 VND itu = Rp. 0.5, jadi setengah harganya. Klo ada barang harganya 3000 VND, artinya klo dirupiahin harganya Cuma Rp. 1500
2. Ke Vietnam sangat disarankan bawa USD karena nilai tuker USD di Vietnam tinggi. Klo bawa uang VND dari Indonesia malah itungannya rugi, pun ga semua money changer di Jakarta punya stock VND.
3. USD bisa dituker sebagian di Bandara Tan Son Nhat International Airport, HCM. Di dekat pintu keluar bandara ada beberapa booth Money Changer. Pilih yang harganya paling tinggi, waktu itu kisaran paling tinggi 1 USD = 21.000 VND. Sebagian lagi USD-nya bisa dituker di manapun. Saya pernah baca di catper traveler lain, dia dapet harga 1 USD = 22.000 VND di money changer pinggir jalan. 
4. Menurut saya, kalau mau bayar hotel, tour package, belanja dalam jumlah banyak mendingan pake USD karena jatohnya lebih murah.

Seputaran Transportasi

1. Jika ingin menggunakan taksi, disarankan memakai taksi Vina Sun atau Mai Linh, karena pake argo dan reputasinya baik di kalangan turis. Tarif awal buka pintu: 7000 VND.  Kalau dari bandara ke hotel, lebih baik pesen taksi langsung dari counter taksi resmi di Bandara. Ada kok di pintu keluar, letaknya sebelahan sama booth money changer.
2. Kalau mau irit, bisa naik Bis umum, biayanya: jauh – dekat cuma 4000 VND. Tapi harus tau rute2nya karena kesulitan jika naik Bis umum adalah supirnya kebanyakan ga bisa bahasa inggris, jadi agak susah juga berkomunikasinya. Perlu diingat bahwa beberapa Bis hanya beroperasi hingga pukul 21.00 malam.
3. Banyak blog yang menyarankan sebaiknya tidak menggunakan becak Vietnam, karena menurut pengalaman turis2 yang lain, Abang Becaknya suka memeras dengan meminta tambahan uang yang berbeda dari harga deal yang awal.

Seputaran Makanan/Minuman

1. Bagi muslim, agak susah menemukan makanan halal di HCM. Hanya ada beberapa resto halal, itupun masakan Malaysia. Paling aman adalah makan junk food seperti Pizza Hut, KFC atau sejenisnya.
2. Kalau mau beli snack dan air mineral sebaiknya beli di Circle K, karena harganya lebih murah dibandingkan dengan toko supermarket local lainnya.
3. Kalau mau cari tempat makan, banyak sekali ditemukan di Daerah distrik 1, Pham Ngu Lau street. Dari mulai makanan khas Vietnam yaitu Pho noodle, ada juga makanan western, makanan china sampe makanan junk food.
4. Informasi tentang daftar resto halal di HCM: halal-guide at HCM

Seputaran Hotel/tempat penginapan

1. Banyakk buangettt hotel murah HCM. Saran saya, sebaiknya pilih hotel yang bagus, toh jatohnya dengan fasilitas yang sama, masih lebih murah hotel di HCM dibanding Jakarta. Sangat disarankan memilih hotel di daerah di distrik 1, terutama Pham Ngu Lau Street.  Karena ini merupakan daerah turis backpacker dan berada di Pusat kota, jadi dekat klo mau kemana2.
2. Yang harus diperhatikan dalam memilih hotel adalah kebersihan, akses wifi/internet di kamar, ber-AC, kamar mandi di dalam dan ada air panas.
3. Sebagai patokan saya menginap di Saigon Mini Hostel 2. Harga yang saya dapat : 700.000 VND/person/5D4N atau Rp. 350.000 selama 5 hari, 4 malam). Exclude Breakfast yaa..

Seputaran Belanja

1. Yang suka belanja, wajib hukumnya datang ke Benh Tanh Market. Buka dari jam 08.00 – 19.00. Modelnya kaya ITC, semua ada disini. Dari baju, tas, souvenir, scarf, makanan, kopi Vietnam, sepatu. Jangan lupa nawar yaa, banting harga dan harus ngerayu2 plus agak galakan dikit..hehehehe..
2. Jam 19.00, ada pasar malam di samping (kanan-kiri) gedung Benh Tanh Market, klo siangnya ini jalan raya biasa, klo malamnya ditutup untuk pasar malam, modelnya kaya tenda2 . Disini bisa banting harga banget, lebih murah jatohnya.
3. Klo mau bawain oleh2, bisa dibeli Kopi Vietnam.  Saya beli kopi Vietnam 1 kg = 60.000 VND. Atau bisa juga beli souvenir dompet kecil, tempelan magnet, pajangan, kaos. 
4. HCM itu konon, pabrik jauhnya tas kamera merk Crumpler, tas Kipling, Samsonite, dll. disini harga tasnya muraahhh bangeetttttt, aseliiii..harus diniatin bawa uang mayan banyak klo mau belanja tas2 itu. saya beli tas kamera cuma seharga 15 USD, padahal  aslinya bisa nyampe sejuta-an. soal kualitas? sama persis! KW superrrrr..ini belinya di ruko2 deket benh tanh  market.

cuma 15 dollar lho alias 150rb doang cyinn

Seputaran jalan2

Kebanyakan tempat wisata di HCM itu letaknya jauh2, contoh:  Chu Chi Tunnel itu perjalanan 1.5 jam, Cao Dai Temple 2 – 3 jam, Sungai Mekong: 1.5 jam. Tapi tenang kok, banyak wisata2 asik di HCM. Bagi yang suka hal yang berbau arsitektur, wajib datang ke Katedral dan Post Office. Letaknya berdekatan kok antara Katedral, Post Office dan Reunification Palace. Jadi bisa satu waktu dikunjungi.

Katedral

Post Office

Arsitekturnya Vintage

wartel interlokal nih